Tonight while watching the non-cartoon version of Pinocchio, Munchkin made a very funny comment. After Geppetto made Pinocchio, she looked at me and said, “He’s quite the builder isn’t he?”
I ran into someone in Walmart this evening that I haven’t seen in a LONG time. And for the first time, I did not mention that I had just survived cancer. Seems that I manage to work it into any and every conversation that I have with people I meet or with people I haven’t seen in a while. I’m not sure why I do that. Poor unsuspecting people just having a conversation and I go and drop a bomb like that. But I just can’t help myself. It has been such a HUGE thing in my life. I don’t think I’ve fully even dealt with the reality of it or how it has changed my thinking or how it still affects me today both physically and emotionally.
It was a quick conversation, but I didn’t even mention it. Does this mean I’m moving on? Maybe moving forward? Whatever I’m doing, it may be gone from every conversation, but definitely not forgotten.
I have had so many blogs floating around in my head, but I just do not have time to blog anymore. Maybe as things settle down, I’ll get a chance to write more. OHHH…hahahahahahahahahahaha!
Ok, maybe just for me, but, afterall, this is a record for me to remember since I don’t seem to be doing well with that aspect of life right now.
Granddad and Mimi came over last night and gave Munchkin her birthday presents – new clothes. This morning when I got up, Munchkin was already dressed in her new dress. Then I noticed that Aggie happened to have on some of the new clothes also. As I walked into the kitchen, I began saying, Those are not your clothes. Those are her new clothes. Why do you have them on? Immediately began the Mom, I can wear these and Mom they fit me and Mom….
As I was about to address the situation again, Munchkin got in front of her sister turned around, got right in her face, and said, Wait a minute! I’ll handle this! She turned back around and said, Mom, I want to share my new clothes with her.
Well, alrighty then. If only the sweetness will last!
Yet another kid story. My poor children are only going to have these blog posts since I have nothing toward a scrapbook yet! And I certainly will not remember these stories later. I’m doing well to remember things on a daily basis.
Anywho…my parents kept the kiddos for my last doctor’s appointment. When I got back it was dinner time and we decided to go out to eat. As we were loading up, Aggie asked if she could ride with Granddad and Mimi. Granddad told her that she could not this time because we would have to get a car seat in his vehicle and he already had the back seat loaded with stuff. So, a few minutes later McGrooter came along and asked if he could ride with them. Granddad told him the same thing and McGrooter reminded him that he technically didn’t have to have a car seat. Granddad agreed but said that since he had already told Aggie that she could not ride then he would not be able to let him ride because that would not be fair.
McGrooter quickly replied, Granddad, my mom says ‘Life’s not fair.’ Granddad said, Get in.
So, sometimes they actually do listen.
(This story sounds much funnier when it is told aloud rather then written down, but trust me, it was funny.)
to me!Â Today marks the day I became a survivor.Â I am now a ONE YEAR SURVIVOR! PRAISE THE LORD!
It’s really hard to believe that one year ago today I was trying to comprehend the fact that I had cancer. Not knowing whether or not it had spread or how bad things really were – scary stuff. I look back now and cannot believe all that we’ve been through in one year’s time. Who would’ve thunk!
I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you all again for the prayers, words of encouragement, gifts, and help. It certainly made this journey bearable. I’m really looking forward to a much better year. I have received the all clear from my doctor. However, he won’t let me get my port removed just yet. They generally like to wait a year just in case. Well, I guess that’s ok. I guess it has to be since they really didn’t give me a choice. But, I’m not afraid of just in case.
I know I haven’t been posting much lately. Just seems like I’m so far behind on everything. I no longer have an excuse to just lie in bed and write on my blog. Life goes on and it seems to be moving on up to warp speed. Keeping up with the kids this summer has kept me really busy. Munchkin turned four two days ago. No more babies around here – well, technically anyway. I haven’t been able to work around the house yet and hope to get some organization done during the month of July. We’ll see…(stop laughing!)
I will close on what I thought was a funny note. However, as I told this story to some family members apparently it reveals my lack of parenting skills. But, I don’t care. I thought it was funny, so I’m going to tell it anyway.
The other night I told McGrooter to get in the shower. He did and I happened to round the corner as he was coming out of the bathroom. I looked and said, Didn’t you wear that underwear today? To which he replied, I’ve worn them all week. AAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Normally I am pretty good at being serious and laughing later, but I was so tired from working in VBS this week that I just laughed. I told him that was totally disgusting and was not funny. He says, Then why are you laughing? Good question. All I could say was, Because it is such a little boy thing to do! I promptly made him change and let the other pair walk itself down to the laundry room.
I had my CT scans today and everything looks perfect according to my oncologist. I was not home when he called this evening, but he left a message saying that my CT scans all looked perfect. Larry, Moe, and Curly (my affectionately named three spots on my lungs) are still alive and well and the doctor is calling them benign.
PRAISE THE LORD!
I never heard back from my colonoscopy, but the oncologist told me today that if there had been something bad, he would have known already. So, I guess for now, I’m in the clear.
I follow up with my oncologist on the 23rd. Maybe that will be my last appointment for a while.
On a funny note (or so I thought)…I was in the bathroom with Munchkin tonight trying to get herÂ in the shower. She was on the potty and I wiped her and said, Ok friend. Time to get in the shower.
To which she responded, Don’t call me that!
I said, Don’t call you “friend?!” Why not?????
It sounds too ruffled-dee!
IÂ never knewÂ that “ruffled-dee” could describe another word. Learn something new every day!
I had my follow up colonoscopy today and all is well so far! The doctor said that everything looked normal, but he did take a biopsy of the area where my colon was resected. He said that was routine and I should have the results back in about a week.
Thank you so much for praying! I will have CT scans on the 12th of this month and that will hopefully conclude my testing for at least several months.
I had the privilege to participate in Hall County’s Relay for Life this past weekend. It was absolutely incredible! I have been looking forward to Relay for many, many months. At school we raised almost $3,000 and I personally, through the very generous help of many of you, raised $950! I have been so excited. But, I have to tell you…well, actually I don’t have to tell you, but I’m going to anyway. Friday came and I was not the least bit excited about going to the event.
Can you believe that?! Something that I had planned for, raised money for, and even looked forward to for MONTHS and I didn’t even want to go. See lately, I have had a rough time emotionally. I know it sounds really weird. One would think that the rough emotional time would be during diagnosis and treatment. Granted, that was hard. But the hardest time I’ve had emotionally has been since my treatments ended.
Apparently, this is not uncommon. I get an e-news email from an organization called Cancer Care and one of the topics on it this time was My Treatment is Over: Why Do I Feel So Alone and Sad?Â So, I must not be the only one experiencing this type of thing. I think I’ve written a little about this in a previous post, but since it’s late and I’m lazy I’m not going to read back through and find it to link it right now. I just haven’t gotten very fancy on my blog. Boy, I tell you what, there are some really, really fancy blogs out there! Lately, I’ve just spent time reading blogs and not writing on mine. It gets intimidating when you read some of the fancy blogs with fancy writers. Ok…I’m off topic…back to my plain, boring blog.
I spent Friday either yelling at the kids or crying. Then I managed to gather my emotions long enough to pack up a few things and head out with the kids still not really wanting to go. Seth met us there since he had to work that day and I was all rude and emotional with him too. Thank the Lord I have a very kind husband who stuck it out with me and by the time we got to the track, I was settling down a bit. As we approached the track around 5:30 that evening, it was packed! The walking doesn’t even officially start until 7:00 pm and already you could hardly even manuever around the lanes. It was incredible!
If you’ve never been to a Relay for Life, let me explain. People (i.e. companies, schools, businesses, etc) form teams and set up tents for the night around the track. They sell all kinds of stuff or have face painting, games, etc. Any money raised goes for their team for Relay. I’d like to know how much the funnel cake booth made! The line for it was SO long and stays that way until they close about midnight. Anyway, there is also a stage set up about mid-track and there is something going on all night long on that stage. They have all kinds of contests and entertainment going on to keep everyone motivated during the night. I’ll find my book and put an explanation on here as to why they do this all night long, but tonight it’s still too late and I’m still too lazy.
So, to make a long story even longer…we went to the concession stand and I got my survivor t-shirt and “dinner” catered by Outback. They used to do an actual dinner, but this year did what they called a reception and it was more like getting a sack lunch. It was still nice. We got settled in at the Gainesville City Schools tent and some of my family arrived. Dad, Mom, Kristin, Kyla, Poppie, and our friend, Ethel, were all there. We also got to meet up with our good friends Paul and Cindy. Then as we were walking around I kept running into people that I knew from many years ago. It was really neat.
Around 6:45 pm, they begin gathering all the survivors at the beginning of the track. What an emotional experience! There was a sea of purple as almost 700 survivors gathered together to walk the first official lap of Relay. I had the privilege of talking with the mother of one of my nurses while I was waiting and it was comforting to know that she, too, had experienced many of the emotional ups and downs that I had. As the lap started I had to pull away from her and get to the outside so that when I got around the track I could see my family. It was incredible experience to be there to walk that lap. People are lined up all around the track clapping and cheering and smiling and it was all I could do to hold my tears back. However, I still felt a little alone because even though all these people were cheering, I didn’t know them and I wasn’t going to see my family until the other side of the track. Then above all the clapping and cheering I hear someone shouting my name – my name! I looked around and saw a friend from work waving her hands and smiling. She was cheering for me! That was when I almost lost it and I couldn’t hold my tears back anymore. A few more steps around the track and there was another friend shouting and then another. I was overwhelmed! Then I finally made it around to my family. Seeing all their faces was, well, indescribable. The second lap around is for caregivers and they were all able to walk that lap as well.
I managed to stay until about 1:30 am and then had to pack it up and call it a night. But, next year, I’m staying all night and I’ve had several people tell me they want to stay all night too. It really is a great event and this years’ event raised over $500,000 for the American Cancer Society.
Thank you again to those of you who supported me this year in raising money for Relay. Thank you to those of you who came to Relay and walked for our team. Thank you also to all of you who have faithfully prayed for me, sent me gifts, provided meals, transportation for my children, or even kept my children. What acts of love and service and I am forever grateful! And, I’m very glad I went to Relay this year!!!
I will have my follow up colonoscopy on June 4th. Really looking forward to that experience again! My follow up CT scans are on June 12th. I am ready to get those over with and hopefully getting some good news.
I have been doing well. Just still really, really tired which is very frustrating for me. I have so much to do and so much to catch up on, but I just don’t have the energy to get much done at all. Even if I do nothing but go to work and come home, I’m still tired. And, of course, there are still the little rugrats that have to be fed. But, at least the school year is almost over and maybe, just maybe this summer will be better than last summer. I have big plans in my head, but we will see if any of those actually materialize.
Today is Saturday – a.k.a. cleaning day. Well, “cleaning” has become a relative term around here. It usually just involves trying to find the carpet in one or more bedrooms and seeing if there is still a sink somewhere in the kitchen. Although, it should be obvious because something is holding all those dishes! It also involves numerous loads of laundry which my dh (dear husband) has tirelessly done. I couldn’t tell you the last time I’ve actually washed a load of clothes. He washes, dries, and folds and I then put away. Pretty good system if you ask me.
I remember that when I was growing up we always dusted, vacuumed, cleaned the bathrooms and mopped on Saturdays. We (my sister and I) never really enjoyed spending our Saturdays in this way. It’s much the same here. There is usually much weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth when I announce, OK, we are going to get our rooms cleaned up.
However, I have to say that today was a bit of a surprise. After the initial moaning and groaning, they began getting to work. And, then, not only did they get their rooms straightened up, they came BACK and asked what else they could do. McGrooter begged and begged to wash the dishes. So, being the ever indulgent mother that I am, I let him. He stood there saying, Wow this cool! Can I do this after every meal? Of course, I had to play it cool and just say, Well, we’ll see.
I have to admit that this has happened before and it kind of gives me the feeling of being in the twilight zone or something. But, it’s nice. I sure hope it continues when they get older. Stop laughing! Maybe it will. Don’t take away my hope!