August 31st, 2007
at 10:56 pm
(Uncategorized)
A lot has happened since my last post. Too much for me to go in to now, but if you’ve kept up with Seth’s blog, you already know what’s going on. Good days and bad days and, unfortunately, pain and fatigue. I had some really good, thought provoking material come to mind yesterday, but, alas, today it is gone – chemo brain. I’m in the single digits now…only 9 more treatments for this round. Sounds pretty good. I might just make it. Maybe I’ll be able to write some more tomorrow. Thank you all SO MUCH for praying. Please don’t stop!
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August 14th, 2007
at 8:28 pm
(Uncategorized)
I didn’t feel well today. I felt (and still do feel) very fatigued and nauseous. I saw the oncologist today and he doesn’t seem to think the pills would take effect that soon. He did give me some medicine for nausea and I am having that filled. I am still having trouble eating. Hopefully the nausea med will help ease the yuckiness and I’ll be able to eat. I’m feeling a little weary of radiation and it’s only the second day. Only 22 treatments left!
7 Comments
August 13th, 2007
at 7:13 pm
(Uncategorized)
One might expect that today was very eventful. Except for teaching, it really wasn’t. I’m having a hard time eating breakfast early in the morning, but need to have something on my stomach to take my chemo pills. I managed a few bites of bread and cheese and peanut butter crackers before deciding that was going to have to do for today. It was getting to be 8:30 or so and I didn’t want the morning to get away and not have taken my pills. So, I swallowed two chemotherapy pills in my classroom this morning with just some water from my water bottle. Sounds weird, doesn’t it?
I mean, you expect chemo to be this really big deal and all I did was swallow some pills this morning. I went right on teaching and then it would hit me as I was writing something on the board…”OH MY WORD! I just took chemo pills!” Not vitamins, not cold meds, not a regular, run-of-the-mill antibiotic, but a pretty serious drug. Obviously, I don’t feel anything yet. It will take a week or two.
Then I went to radiation today. I thought it was going to be one zap and I’d be done. However, I have to get positioned on my torture table and they zap the center. Then they come back in and move the machine and zap the right side. Lastly, they come in and move the machine one more time and zap the left side. All in all, I’m not on the table more than 10 minutes. My back is thankful for that.
It is still very strange each time to hear the vault-like door close and know that sometimes you’ve just got to go it alone. No one can be in there – no one would want to be in there! However, I know that I am really not alone. Isn’t it wonderful to know that God can go anywhere? He’s not bound by thick metal doors or dangerous radiation. I tried saying Psalm 23, but looks like I’m going to have to slow down or find some more verses since I get my treatment in three segments.
I went back to work and worked too long today. I’m tired and my body hurts. I’m thankful for my wonderful husband who made it home early and took the kids out so I could rest. He is working so hard and has so many responsibilities right now. I love you honey! (You probably don’t even have time to read this!)
Got papers to grade…
6 Comments
August 13th, 2007
at 6:56 pm
(Uncategorized)
Had to go to radiation on Saturday to check the big black x’s. Unfortunately I got to lie on the belly board for about 30 minutes without moving. New marks were made and lines were drawn to show me the area that will be affected so I can apply lotion. It’s probably going to end up like a very bad sunburn. Wonder if it will give me freckles?
Got my permanent tattoos. They are far less exciting than all the black drawings. Too bad I have to only describe it in words, but, well, pictures would be a bit inappropriate!
I had films taken from all angles. Each time the ladies have to leave me in the radiation room – alone. It’s a decent sized room and the radiation machine is huge. But the really weird thing is the door. The door is very thick. Kind of plays mind games with me if I’m not careful. Being locked in a room with a door the size of a bank vault door is a bit frightening. The ladies are very good to remind me that they can see and hear me the entire time.
My principal told me that when she was going through radiation she used to have it timed just right to say Psalm 23. I said it over and over. Then started on Psalm 139 just to remind myself that these days were ordained for me before one of them came to be. I don’t understand the why and can’t articulate how a loving God could ordain this or many other horrible things to happen. But I can articulate that God is good and He does love me. And I know He heard my prayers for my back to go numb to relieve the pain. The pain didn’t go away, but it was bearable and I made it through. I don’t think that God intends for us to be able to explain Him or His ways. That would make us equals. So, I’ll just stick to what I know for now. God is good – all the time. This is all my feeble mind can handle right now.
2 Comments
August 11th, 2007
at 9:20 pm
(Uncategorized)
Amazingly I did not have to visit any doctors’ offices this week. Preplanning began on Monday and I hit the ground running. I was so excited and had lots of work to do before school started. I left the house around 7:45 that morning. We had some short meetings and then got to work in our classrooms. I had to leave for my radiation appointment that lasted two hours. So I came back and worked in my room until about 7 pm. My friend, Laurie Whitener, came over and helped me. I left and met Seth for dinner at Outback. (The kids were at my sister’s house, so I didn’t have to worry about taking care of them and could work longer.) I was pretty tired but was able to go on to bed when I got home. I was hoping for a good night’s rest, but…
I had taken some medicine before going to bed and, unfortunately, was up for three hours. I still managed to get up and make it to our system wide convocation around 8:15 on Tuesday morning. I worked in my classroom again and had lots of help. Nellie, a speech language parapro, cut out countless amounts of laminated items. Sarah Whitener came over and spent her afternoon hanging posters and designing a bulletin board that included a beautiful, hand drawn tree that looks 3-D. I have to say that I have had so much help getting ready for school and making it through the first two days. I am so blessed to work with such wonderful and caring people. There is hardly a 30 minute period that goes by where someone doesn’t come to my room and say, “Do you need anything? What can I do to help?” My team is constantly answering my questions and providing me with materials. I am so very thankful!
My children came back on Tuesday, so IÂ only worked until around 5 pm. On Wednesday, my sister came over and kept the kids while I went to work. I tried desperately to get ready for Open House and felt a bit stressed. Open House was from 2 – 4 pm and went very well. I had about 18 or 19 parents come which was a very good turnout. My mom took McGrooter and Aggie to their classes and let them meet their teachers.
After I got home from Open House, I found “THE WALL.” In fact, I hit it pretty hard! I was so exhausted. Really sad since school had not even started yet! I did have a good first day of school, but only made it until about 1 pm. I had to come home and go to bed for a couple of hours. I felt better, but still went to bed at 8:30 pm. I felt much better on Friday and made it all day. I have a good class of students who I think I will enjoy and I am thrilled to be a part of the Enota family this year!
3 Comments
August 11th, 2007
at 7:09 pm
(Uncategorized)
Last Monday I went for my appointment at the radiation office. I met with the nurse and doctor again and just reviewed everything. Then I had to have several CT scans so that they could mark the spots for radiation. It doesn’t sound all that bad, right?
I will be receiving my treatments while lying face down on a invention called a “belly board.” I do believe that this particular board dates back to medieval times and was originally designed to be used in torture chambers. The board is made of concrete made to look like blue foam. Ok, so maybe I’m exaggerating a little bit, but not much! The board has a hole cut out for my belly to fall down into. Then my hips are elevated slightly. The piece of foam that I have to “rest” my hips on does feel like concrete. This position causes my back to form an arc and puts a tremendous amount of pressure on my lower back.
On Monday, I had to remain in this position for at least 45 minutes while they got everything lined up just right. In addition to this, they had to put some contrast up into the effected area. Such a pleasant experience! I tried not to complain, but eventually had to ask when I was going to be able to move. I didn’t want them to hurry because this is not the kind of thing you want them to say, “Ok. I think it’s close enough.” Each time I would have to go back through the CT machine it reminded me of an airplane taking off. So, I would close my eyes and pretend that Seth and I were taking off to the Bahamas or some place like that.
The first time they lined everything up the doctor came in and wasn’t happy with the exact location. So they let me take a bit of a break and stretch my back and then got me back into position. I had to do this a couple of more times before I finished. They put huge black x’s on three spots and then put stickers over the spots to keep them from washing off.
After 2 hours, I finally left the office with my temporary markings. They assured me that my regular visits would be much shorter and I’m guessing somewhat less painful.
1 Comment
August 5th, 2007
at 8:45 am
(Uncategorized)
Today is the last official day of my summer break and I, for one, am glad! If we continue to have summers like this, I’m voting for year round school. Here’s an overview of the major “events” of our summer:
In May, during post-planning, McGrooter got his tonsils out. The doctor said that children his age usually are fine within seven or eight days. But, usually is not usual around our house, and it took him the full two weeks to begin feeling better. Not too bad, though, at least that part was over and we were ready to move on to having fun.
Then, on Memorial Day, Seth fell in the backyard cutting grass on a steep hill. He tore a disc in his back that is bulging and compressing a nerve. He spent about five days in bed before he was able to really move at all. It was very painful for him. It also meant no lifting, bending, and twisting. (Not an easy rule to follow when you have three young children!) We found out later that he has some fractures on his tail bone that may be causing the majority of his pain. You can read the details on his blog.
Don’t remember how much time passed before the transmission went out on our van – AGAIN. It’s a 1999 Honday Odyssey that we purchased right before Esther was born. Then promptly two months later the transmission went out. It was replaced and we continued to drive it. So, this summer it went out again and had to be replaced – AGAIN. I was not left without a vehicle though, because Seth had to spend a week in Memphis for work. While he was gone, however, I began receiving threatening phone calls on my cell phone. I quit answering and messages were left threatening my life and the lives of my children. So, I had to file a police report and take care of that issue. (Turned out to be random “prank” calls from an eight year old boy.)
Now, these events cover the end of May through the most of June. My plan for the rest of the summer was to spend one or two days a week working on my classroom and getting organized for the school year. Plus, taking the kids swimming, to the library, etc. We celebrated Munchkin’s birthday on June 25 and then on June 28 I had a colonoscopy only to wake up and discover that I have cancer. If you are reading this, then you probably know the events that occurred after that date.
Finally, to top it all off, Seth goes to a Braves game with all the guys on my side of the family to celebrate my dad’s birthday. Of all things, he is hit by a foul ball and has sustained some pretty yucky injuries. He basically saved the lives of our son and my grandfather, though. Way to go honey!Â
And, now, here we are, the last day before pre-planning. I have never been more ready for school to start! 
I do NOT dare ask, “What more could happen?” I don’t want to know the answer to that question.
Lest you think that IÂ am having a pity party, let me clarify. These events actually happened and I think they happened for a reason. (More on this topic later.) Do I think they are the worst that could happen? No. Many people are going through much worse situations. But, this is what has happened to us and it’s almost becoming comical.
Don’t ever think that things can’t get worse…because they can!
3 Comments
August 3rd, 2007
at 8:35 am
(Uncategorized)
Well, I think all the initial shocks are over. I’ve already had two visits this week with oncologists and then one more today with one of my regular docs to complete a thorough exam. I have read some survivor stories and know exactly what they mean when they describe thinking at each visit, “Lord, please don’t let them find anything else.” I have a feeling that will last for some time.
I am set to get more CT scans on Monday and my little tattoos. Nothing exciting. Only little dots that will probably blend in with my freckles anyway. Not sure exactly when treatments will begin. I’ll find out on Monday.
Mom, the kids, and I went to school yesterday and attempted to work on my classroom. We had this grand plan…ok, I had this grand plan…that we would put two of the kids on the computers in my room and I would take my laptop and let McGrooter use it. So, we picked up lunch and arrived at school. We finally got in after some slight setbacks. Namely the fact that Munchkin couldn’t find her shoes. My mom is looking at me like, “You let her leave the house without shoes!” I had told everyone to get their shoes on several times before we left and we’ve NEVER had a problem with the kids getting in the van without shoes. So, we let Aggie go in first and I brought her Crocs back out for Munchkin to wear inside. What a mess! (Just to let you know how the story turned out – On the way home, Munchkin yells, “Here’s my shoes!” They were in a little closed compartment in the back of the van!!!! Who would have thought?!!)
So, anyway to make a short story longer…the kids were a bit restless and my computers do not have sound so it was hard for them to play games on them. We got a little done and I got to see all of my team. All in all, the day was not totally wasted, but I was by the time we left. Mom had to drive home and I had to spend the rest of the afternoon in the recliner. I think it was too much to try to work and handle the kids. (Ya think?? )
Pre-planning starts on Monday and I am planning on working as much as possible. I’m going to take it one day at a time and see how it goes. Everyone at my school has been so kind and so supportive. They are really taking good care of me and I am so thankful.
I continue to be humbled and grateful for all of you who are praying for me. I KNOW that is why I am recovering so well from surgery. Please continue to pray as the treatments begin, specifically that the side effects would be minimal.
Off to see what we can accomplish today…
5 Comments