Breaking the silence AGAIN

I have been asked several times (ok…just by family!) when I was going to put something on my blog again. I started something long ago and never finished (the story of my life). So, I finally just posted what I had written. Tonight I will try to write a little more, but words do not come easily anymore. They’ve somewhat gone from flowing like water to bearing the resemblance of molasses. I’ve had a range of emotions that I feel hesitant to share and with chemo brain, I just can’t think of how to actually say things.

Chemo brain is a real thing, by the way. I had one person who didn’t believe me until I explained that not only had I read about it, but the chemo nurses joke about it all the time. Chemo makes you very forgetful. I often cannot recall people’s names or cannot think of the word I’m trying to say. Or sometimes, wrong words will just come out or I’ll stutter or stammer some trying to have a conversation. One time I handed one of my children some clothes and said, “Go put this in your mirror.” It was quite comical for some time, but now on occasion it frightens me that I will not ever get those cherished brain cells back.

In addition to chemo brain, I continue to deal with the neuropathy in my hands and now my feet. I have “gastrointestinal disturbances” as the nurse practioner put it, plus the usual fatigue. Sometimes I break out with sores (not big ones) on my shoulders and back. They don’t do much but itch a little, so I’m thankful for that. I have other aches and pains associated with the chemo. Generally, things get better during my “off” week and I go back to work and attempt to carry on as normal as possible. However, I just don’t have the energy to do everything I really need to do. It usually works out that I spend the week of treatment in bed and the next week trying to catch up from treatment week. During the week that I go back to work, that is about all I can do. Sometimes I’m able to run an errand or two, but not with the kids. That requires too much effort!

I only have 3 more treatments left. The doctor reduced my overall treatment by one so that I could still hopefully finish by Spring Break. I have been a chemo reject twice with my counts being too low to receive treatment. After this last treatment, I got a shot to hopefully boost my white blood cell count. He said that the effects of all the radiation and chemo are making it harder for my body to recover each time. I am looking forward to all of this being over, but yet have a weird feeling about it too. I’ve read about this experience from other people, but now am feeling it for myself. As long as you are receiving treatment, you feel like you are combatting the cancer in some way. You are actually doing something. But then, when you finish you feel like you are just waiting for the cancer to show back up. I even hesitate to call myself a survivor just yet. It’s almost scary to say survivor in reference to myself. I do not live in fear and it doesn’t worry me so much that I can’t function, but it is always in the back of my mind like once this is over, I’ll just be waiting for the next bomb to drop on us.

But through it all, the Lord has been so faithful. He has shown us His love for us in many, many ways. I am often overwhelmed by the cards and gifts we’ve received and then am equally overwhelmed with guilt for not sending thank you notes or acknowledging all these expressions of love. I do not take them lightly at all. I’ve just gotten so far behind I don’t even know where to start. Plus, on my treatment weeks, I don’t do much at all and then on my non-treatment weeks, I go back to work. I feel like I’m just making excuses. I wish I had stayed on top of things, but I didn’t.

Well, enough for now. This doesn’t even scratch the surface, but it will have to do. I’m really tired and the week starts tomorrow. Maybe I’ll get back in the blogging world more regularly…we’ll see.

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Freeze Frames

I wrote this post about a month ago and thought I’d get back to finish it. I never did so I’ll post as is. As for blogging more, maybe I will in the next day or two. I’ve had a couple of people ask, but I’m not even sure anyone reads this anymore since it’s been so long. 

Ever had such moments that made you smile and feel like you just wanted to hit the pause button and make the moment last a bit longer? I’ve often wished that we could just freeze some frames of our lives and fast forward through others. Yesterday there was a brief freeze frame moment. The girls were in their room and all of a sudden I hear (and see since I was in the bed all day and our room is across from theirs) Aggie say, “THANK YOOOOOU! Thank you for picking that up!” To which Munchkin responds, “You’re welcome!” It was a brief moment. But, in that brief moment, both girls were kind to one another and happy. It made me want to freeze that frame for a little longer because I couldn’t help thinking about years down the road. Will they still be such good friends? Will they realize this is the only sister they will ever have? Their personalities are such opposites that I think they will (and do) have their continued struggles. Things usually move along beautifully until Munchkin either gets tired of or realizes that she doesn’t have to take orders from Aggie and states confidently, “You are not the parent!” or “You are not the boss of me!” But, alas, for that one brief moment, it was special to their mother.

There are many other moments I would like to have the opportunity to rewind and freeze those frames also. Childhood memories flood my mind or carefree single days or a wonderful wedding day or yes, even the birth of my children. I would go through that pain again. The end result is so amazing that I would do it again. Which reminds me of another conversation with the children. I’ll digress for a moment. In the van the other day, Aggie says, “We need to have another baby!” All children agree. She says, “We need to have a girl.” Of course, McGrooter strongly disagrees and makes the observation that the girls already outnumber the boys, so therefore we should have another boy. Then, of course, an argument begins to brew to which Aggie replies, “It was my idea to have another baby so I get to decide and we are having a girl!” I finally had to interrupt and set a few things straight. The fact of the matter is that door has been closed from several angles.

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